In line with the gender awareness seminar I attended and the Spiderman movie that is showing in theaters (I have not watched it yet), I realized one thing when my mind began to daydream sometime during the 4 hour session.
Iron = Fe (periodic table)
+ Man= male (synonyms)
Iron man= Female
I’m not saying that Iron man is gay. No. what I am trying to say is that females
can are superheroes too. 😀 Go girl and boy power!
Every single day of our life, we spend a fixed amount of our time for travelling. Even if we do not wish to, it is something we can not avoid. Especially, now that I am a college student, I take the public transportation to go to and from school. It is truly amazing to see the different stories within the four corners of public transportation. Here some of the strangest things I have experienced while commuting.
1. A woman breastfeeding her child. Not too long ago, my professor had us debate upon the idea of mothers breastfeeding in public. Then, I thought it was alright and natural, when I saw it in action, it made me rethink my earlier judgement. I am quite sensitive regarding the topic of children, especially babies. Many time did I see mothers carrying their children, who are only wearing a diaper and an undershirt. Our country is very much polluted, so I really feel bad for the children commuting.
2. People who do not pay the fares. I have seen this so many times. They just get on, and leave at the terminal. I feel bad for those who work jobs to pay for all kinds of fees. Where is the justice/ equality really?
3. A man gives his seat up for an old lady. Its not really weird, but rather surprising. I am sorry to say, but I truly thought chivalry was dead. At least now I know it is still existent. After all, it is no longer taught in schools. I just hope, when I am old, with a cane at hand, somebody would be willing to give up their seat for me.
I recently have been answering people’s questions with either one of these phrases:
a. It’s complicated.
b. There is a time for everything.
I guess this is what college life has taught me for the past year. Life is complicated. If it’s not complicated, then it isn’t life.
Expectations are the things you want to see in in the future. You may expect great things like a car for your 18th birthday or expect smaller things like rain in the afternoon. Nonetheless, no matter what the degree of expectation is, one would evetually get hurt when it is not met.
So why am I talking about expectations? Because I have never been expected to do do anything. Ever since I could remember nobody expected anything out of me. Figuring I could change this in college, I try to be the best I can be. I have joined an organization, performed well in my academics, volunteered as an assistant. Even though I placed so much responsibility on myself, no one still expects anything out of me.
I know you’re thinking that I am the luckiest person in the world because people do not place responsibility on me, but I am not. By not setting expectations on me, I begin to question their level of trust in me. I begin to doubt my abilities, and question why they don’t trust me. And that triggers the ever suppressed inferiority complex. I begin to compare myself with everyone, thinking why they are all so much better than me.
Some people do say that maybe I am just not ready and it is not yet the right time, but I ask, “when will it be the right time? When will I ever be trusted to become a leader?”
Is it weird? Me thinking this way. I know. I am weird. I am different. I want the stress brought by expectations of others, and now, I have confronted my “boss” claiming I want more responsibilities. The only question now is whether I made the right decision or not.
Friends are always open with each other. They joke around, yes, but they trust each other. They help each other with almost everyhing. Wow. I can’t believe this is my only definition of a friend.
I just have a question that has puzzled my.mind for years. ( No, I am not exagerrating.) How does one tell when he has gone overboard with jokes and sarcasms? And when does one begin to take it offensive/ seriously? I honestly don’t know. I need help. ASAP.
I’m afraid all my friendships will fade soon, if my problem is not addressed.
I have always loved responsibility. Sadly, no one ever gives it to me. Nobody thinks I have what it takes to handle it.
When I was younger, I too thought I could not handle it, but recently (now that I am in college) I feel like I could handle more things and perform better. Therefore, I tried joining an organization in line with my advocacy. I strive hard to get into it, gaining a little bit of confidence. When I was asked whether I deserved to join, I confidently said yes. Yes, because I knew I had done everything I can in my power to be able to accomplish the tasks given to me.
After being a member, I tried strive even harder for a higher position. Some older members/ leaders were “chosen” by the past people who held the position. Nonetheless, it was still a decision of the body. I tried to sense if the finance head would choose me as a future head, but until now, I sense nothing but his preference for my other co-orgmate. Though I did sense the publicity head show her liking towards me. Sadly she would not stay long enough to appoint me as the next head of publicity.
Well, since being the head of a committee in the organization did not work out as well as I hoped. I applied as a registration assistant. Being an RA would require at least two semesters of training. Today was my last day as a trainee for my first semester.
It is hard, but still I try to do the best I can to make the registration process as easy as possible. I also try to show my good side to the heads. Now, they are deliberating whether who will move on to the next stage of the training. They asked me why I deserve to continue and surprisingly I have an answer for that as well. Someday, I do hope I get to be and official RA and I would hope to be the head of it too.
I realized something after doing these two things, I have the confidence to say I deserve the responsibility because of my hard work. If I was asked if I deserve past responsibilities, I would have said no. But now, I feel like I deserve everything I am about to get. But the biggest question that still plagues my mind is that why do I not have the responsibility? What is the equation for responsibility?
Confidence+ Hard work + ????? = RESPONSIBILITY