Expectations are the things you want to see in in the future. You may expect great things like a car for your 18th birthday or expect smaller things like rain in the afternoon. Nonetheless, no matter what the degree of expectation is, one would evetually get hurt when it is not met.
So why am I talking about expectations? Because I have never been expected to do do anything. Ever since I could remember nobody expected anything out of me. Figuring I could change this in college, I try to be the best I can be. I have joined an organization, performed well in my academics, volunteered as an assistant. Even though I placed so much responsibility on myself, no one still expects anything out of me.
I know you’re thinking that I am the luckiest person in the world because people do not place responsibility on me, but I am not. By not setting expectations on me, I begin to question their level of trust in me. I begin to doubt my abilities, and question why they don’t trust me. And that triggers the ever suppressed inferiority complex. I begin to compare myself with everyone, thinking why they are all so much better than me.
Some people do say that maybe I am just not ready and it is not yet the right time, but I ask, “when will it be the right time? When will I ever be trusted to become a leader?”
Is it weird? Me thinking this way. I know. I am weird. I am different. I want the stress brought by expectations of others, and now, I have confronted my “boss” claiming I want more responsibilities. The only question now is whether I made the right decision or not.