Change

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When I started my second year in college, I noticed that I have changes in my personality, and a lot of people have been noticing it as well. A few high school friends have told me that I had a new and “sassier” accent. Others told me I had become loud and much more talkative. While others asked me, “Are you even *insert name here*? ”

Honestly, I do not know whether this is good or bad. When I was in high school, I have always tried to be more confident and out going, but now that I have reached that state of being confident, I try to restrain my new found personality.

The reason why i try to restrain my current outgoing self is because of my high school friends. They met me and accepted me as the shy and quiet one. Would it seem like I was deceiving them with my facade? I do not want them to think of me that way because I value their freindship so much. They stuck by me even though I went through persecution. I love them so much. I know I am outgoing. I knew even then, yet why do I try to restrain this feeling in front of them?

My college friends, on the other hand, know me as a friendly over achiever. Nothing like my high school self. Now, I try to restrain my perky attitude, and they begin to feel like I am mad at them. Which is not the case. When I am in school now, I feel like the facade is the outgoing self and the real self is the introvert.

Funny how things never go the way we want it to be.

Honestly, I no longer no what to do. With the stress of school work piling up. I have no time to think about these. For the mean time, I would just tone down my active and bubbly personality in college, and lessen my talkative side in front of my high school friends. But for those who have better solutions please. I need help.

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2 responses »

  1. We go through a lot of changes in this life. Especially when we’re young. Sometimes, overcoming a challenge, or a barrier, can make the pendulum swing in the opposite direction… and it is just a way of repairing something that was slightly off… but it still doesn’t express the inner you. If you move slowly with your old friends, they certainly won’t suspect you of deceiving them when you were in highschool. You can even tell them about your new found confidence, and that you feel more comfortable these days, being outspoken.

    • Thank you very much for the wise advice. I truly appreciate it. I told some, but not all of my high school friends about it, and they accepted me. They told me that does not accept change would never move forward. It made me really happy hearing those words.
      As much as I would lie to try taking it slowly with them (my new found attitude), I can’t because we do not see each other very often. Maybe twice a year.

      Anyway. thank you very much. Thanks for reading too. 🙂

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