Turn

I read every email you wrote me
From the moment I read them
I knew you weren’t fine
You said you were fine
Thus, thought you were fine

Do you know what all my friends said,
When they saw your first email arrive?
They said, be careful with that one, love
He will do what it takes to survive

You and your words flooded our senses
Your sentences left us defenseless
You built us palaces out of paragraphs
You built cathedrals

I’m re-reading the emails you wrote me
I’m searching and scanning for answers in every line
For some kind of sign
And when you weren’t fine
The world seemed to burn
Burn

She published the emails you wrote her
She told the whole world
How you brought her into your bed
Avenging her name
She’s ruined your lives

Do you know what all my friends said
When they read what you’ve done?
they said, your friend is an Icarus
He has flown too close to the sun

You and your words obsessed with the ecstasy
Your sentences border on senseless
And you are paranoid in every paragraph
of how they perceive you
You, you, you!

I won’t erase myself from the narrative
Let future historians know how we, Christians,
Reacted
When you broke our hearts
When you tore it all apart
We’re watching you turn
Praying you turn

The world won’t attend to your heart
The world has no place in your head
They won’t get to know what you said
They’re burning the memories
Burning everything that will redeem you

You forfeit all rights to our hearts
You forfeit the place in our heads
But “you won’t fight alone,” God said.
Fight with the memories of when you were fine

I pray that you turn

For a dear friend who has burned everything, we continue to pray that you turn to a just God.

Adapted from the song Burn by Phillipa Soo from the play Hamilton

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