Tag Archives: life

Life Cycle

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My last post was about my last semester of course work in College. A semester of doing practicum had passed, and the most awaited graduation day arrived. 

A momentous day remembering the 5 years of my daily college routine. Finally graduating from 18 years of compulsary education. Celebrating 21 years of living and dreaming.

Amidst the joy and pride, life goes on. It didn’t stop after I marched up the stage to receive a college diploma. I thought it did. Instead, another chapter forced its way into my life, whether I was ready or not.

I began working right after graduation. Everyday, I learn new things about my work and myself. I wake up before the sun even shows himself, and go home when he has set. Everyday. But, I’m happy with this new yet familiar cycle.

Well, I think I’m happy.

There are days when I would wonder if there would be an end to this cycle- to wake up with nothing to think about. I would either be rich or dead for that to happen, and the latter seams more probable with my choice in profession.

This cycle needs to end, and I hope I would be able to experience such peace and comfort in this lifetime, even for just a short while. As life goes on, so must a new cycle begin. 

This time, I would be the one to dictate when the new cycle begins. 

Left Unwritten

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I had dinner with my high school friends today. And while it was fun reminiscing about the good ‘ol days, it was refreshing to hear stories about their work, rather than stories about school, exams and deadlines. While I was laughing on the outside, my mind was already stricken with fear- fear of what the future holds for me.

Evie works as a writer for two websites. She writes five for one website and three for the other, and she finishes all of these in just three hours. She begins writing at 5:30 am and finishes by 8:30 am. Did I mention she works at home? But that is not the best part, she earns approximately 430 USD. She doesn’t even write articles, she simply paraphrases them.

Lya shared her work life as well. She works at a company from 10 am to 6 pm. She addresses the problems of different customers, writes emails, and answers phone calls. She calls it customer support, while I call it a call center agent. I don’t mean to belittle the job of call center agents, but I never saw her working there, especially a university graduate (from a premier university, nonetheless) who graduated with Latin honors. But then who cares when she gets to bring home approximately 650 USD a month.

Ren, the animator in the group, currently interns in a local animation studio. She doesn’t get paid as much, but her work is soon going to appear in movie screens across the country.

Lastly, Jen works an 8-hour desk job in a travelling agency. When asked how she is, she only says one word: stressed. Most of the time, she has overtime work. She also trains new staff members. She does all these and more for 340 USD a month. She earned more from the tips she got while working in a restaurant,  than what she earns in a day now. But, by then end of this year, she’ll be resigning and applying for a position in an airline company. This is just her stepping stone. At least, she knows where she’s headed.

I, on the other hand, will be working 9 hours a day, five days a week, not to mention the lesson preparations and checking of papers at home. How much do I get? 390 USD a month. Over-worked and underpaid. Don’t get me wrong. That was my dream. Ever since I was young I have always wanted to be a teacher. I just didn’t think it would actually happen, and that it would come so soon.

Before, I couldn’t care less about how many zeroes my paycheck has. I could only care about the passion and the learning, but I only realize now, that passion won’t feed me and my family. It won’t provide a roof over our heads. So, what nowt? Will I be stuck in that job? I seriously need to find a better dream to aim for, and let this be my stepping stone alone. Then, I can just go back to my first love, when I’m all rich.

Emotions

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So today marks the first official day as the president of our organization. I don’t really know how to convey my emotions, without me ending up rambling on and on about things you don’t really care. Instead, I wrote these very short poems (they take the form of Haiku, but Haiku are much more complicated than this) to convey my emotions.

1. In one minute

Touched and thankful

Anxiousness consumes

Hope arrives

2. Pressure

Rice is in the pot

Pop! The button goes.

Do we have rice tonight?

3.  Time

Dawn again

Life ensues

Seize the day

4. Answer

Why look for a reason?

When the reason is right here.

The reason is you.

5. Life

Hello,

It’s nice to meet you.

Goodbye.

Everything has Changed

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I can’t believe I haven’t updated in 2 months. For that, this may be pretty long because a lot has happened over two months. But one of my most life-changing moments happened in less than an hour.

I have been having problems with my bosses- the president, vice-president and the secretary. (And that leaves me in my committee). They have just been too selfish and self-centered. So, when the secretary couldn’t ‘suck-it-up’ anymore, he decides to send me a crappy resignation letter, and that just threw me off. The next day, I talked to them.

I told them I had to talk to them, and they agreed to meet me at the park. It was 8:30 pm. I told them everything- from how pathetic and lazy they were, to how selfish they have gotten. Most of all, I told everything to the president, how he was never the reason I stayed in the committee, and followed his orders. It was all because of the vice-president. He is the one who made sense.

It was 9:30 pm when my tears stopped falling.

After that, the secretary still talked to me. The president made some sense, but only for a short while. He is now slowly going back to his old habits. As for the vice-president, he told me, “It’s better if we do not interact anymore because I can not take that crap anymore. Have you noticed? We  (referring to the four of us) all have changed, ever since we became leaders.” (Non-verbatim of course).

Of course, I was devastated. To think I stuck up for him. He ended our last conversation with, “I know none of us (referring to the four of us) would be staying or coming back to the organization next year, so I want to leave with nothing but good memories, so I’m doing this. And I hope you would too.”

Due to the unpleasing results, it makes me wonder if I shouldn’t have done anything. Yes, I regret my actions, but again, the wise vice-president told me, “It is ok. You should not regret it. Because if it wasn’t you, someone from us, sooner or later, would have done the same. And I think it would not have been prettier.”

Indeed, everything has changed. I just hope all of this ‘change’ would be for the better.

The Happiness Bottle Hypothesis

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Every bottle is different.

Every bottle is different.

I’m sure you have experienced a day, or maybe even days, of complete and utter euphoria. After which, that state of excitement immediately sends you into a pit of depression and despair. No, it is not the ‘back to normal’ feel, but rather goes beyond that and completely damages your train of thought. You begin realizing new problems that problems about anything and everything that may or may not concern you at all. Thus, with a hoodie covering your head and black eyeliner beneath your eyes you walk through the halls with a shadow of gloom following your every move. I propose this  phenomenon as The Happiness Bottle Hypothesis.

This hypothesis has several postulates that are observed to be true:

1. The amount of happiness of people experience vary.
The premise is that we all have a bottle of happiness. We get unlimited refills in these bottle, but the size of the bottle depends on several factors like family, friends, school, finances, etc., but the most important factor is perspective. What truly sets apart the amount of happiness your bottle can hold is your perspective. Happiness is a perspective of how you view things that are in your life. Happiness, being subjective, is different from one person to another. Person A may view getting a flat tire as destiny and should just accept that things happen for a reason, while Person B sees it as pure dumb luck. Happiness is just a perspective, so it is up to you to determine the amount of happiness your bottle can possess.

2. Despite that, there is a finite amount of happiness a person can possess in a day.

When you wake up in the morning, someone refills our bottle. There is a specific amount of happiness in that bottle, anything more than that just overflows. Even though the amount of happiness you could possess is indefinite, there is a finite amount of happiness you can use in a day. People who are optimistic and carefree are able to use more happiness in a day (due to having a larger bottle), as opposed to pessimistic people.

Being cheerful THROUGHOUT the day (note: It means evenly spread out through the day) shows you were able to evenly distribute the happiness for that day. If you were happy only in the morning, then you must have used up all of it already.

3. Nonetheless, the happiness of one day can be used by another day.
There are days when you are extremely happy for a long period of time. Maybe you were at a party with some old friends. Maybe you got promoted and celebrated. This happens to most of us. You use up all our happiness and unconsciously use up the next day’s worth as well. It’s like ordering an extra drink without having money to pay so you borrow some from a friend. Eventually you have to pay your dues. Using up more than a bottle’s worth leaves the next day with none to use. You begin feeling depressed. Looking back at that moment when we cared for nothing and had so much fun, you begin thinking of things you might have regret doing. You go back to thinking about your work, you spouse, your friends, even global warming. Such is just the effect of draining the happiness bottle.

4. Oh and yes, you can run out of happiness!
Remember, happiness is a perspective. If you choose to see yourself being miserable for the rest of your life, then it just means you sold your happiness bottle to some dude in a grey suit and tie. But if you just enjoy life consistently, you get unlimited refills!

Thus ends the Happiness Bottle Hypothesis.

Disclaimer: This is just a perspective of mine. I am not imposing my thoughts, just expressing them.